Steps to Increase Intimacy and Closeness Friendship is essential in developing and maintaining an intimate relationship. Based on John Gottman’s groundbreaking research involving 3,000 couples over 40 years on what makes relationships successful. We…
It has been a remarkable journey. I developed the Couple Recovery Development Approach (CRDA) in 2002 for my doctoral dissertation on couples in long-term recovery. The model is based on my research from the Family Recovery Project housed at Mental Research Institute in Palo Alto, California.
Jerry and Carol (not their real names) came in for couples therapy. They stated that they had a good marriage, but that they needed a "tune up". Jerry talked about how he felt that stress was impacting their relationship, Carol agreed, but also expressed concern over Jerry's alcohol use and wanted him to better control his drinking, like he used to.
Some years ago I remember leading a family group at a drug and alcohol treatment center. I opened the group with the question: What does it mean to be a family or couple in recovery? Some people struggled with the idea that the non-addicted members of the family had some part in going forward in recovery.
Initially there’s a collective sigh of relief when a partner or loved one gets sober. Partners feel hopeful that a sense of normality can find its way back into family life. However, relief is almost always followed by increasing levels of resentment, anxiety, fear, anger, and a host of other negative emotions. Making sense of these co-existing oppositional feelings is confusing. You’re probably thinking, “Shouldn’t I feel better now that my partner is finally sober?” But often, it’s not that simple.