Steps to Increase Intimacy and Closeness Friendship is essential in developing and maintaining an intimate relationship. Based on John Gottman’s groundbreaking research involving 3,000 couples over 40 years on what…
It has been a remarkable journey. I developed the Couple Recovery Development Approach (CRDA) in 2002 for my doctoral dissertation on couples in long-term recovery. The model is based on my research from the Family Recovery Project housed at Mental Research Institute in Palo Alto, California.
In my article, "Trauma is Not Codependency: Learning the Difference", I address the importance of acknowledging and understanding that active addiction creates trauma for both the person with the addictive disorder as well as for partners and family members. It is important for couples to recognize and accept that the impact of addiction often follows couples and family well into recovery. This is normal and to be expected in most most circumstances.
When a partner gets into recovery all sorts of emotions tend to come to the surface. These emotions may at times feel in opposition: hope next to fear, relief side-by-side with anger, and so on. If you have experienced these swings then you know how confusing and overwhelming emotions can be, sometimes rapidly go from one feeling to another.
Trust is basic to the foundation of any significant relationship. It is hard to imagine anybody feeling comfortable in a relationship where trust has been broken consistently. How do couples impacted by addiction and by recovery deal with the ongoing issue of trust - or more to he point mistrust?