Codependency is an ever-present concept in the language of recovery. Partners, family members, and friends of people who struggle with problematic substance and behavior are typically automatically assigned this label. It is assumed that anybody in a close relationship with a person with an addiction is, by definition codependent.
In my article, "Trauma is Not Codependency: Learning the Difference", I address the importance of acknowledging and understanding that active addiction creates trauma for both the person with the addictive disorder as well as for partners and family members. It is important for couples to recognize and accept that the impact of addiction often follows couples and family well into recovery. This is normal and to be expected in most most circumstances.
When a partner gets into recovery all sorts of emotions tend to come to the surface. These emotions may at times feel in opposition: hope next to fear, relief side-by-side with anger, and so on. If you have experienced these swings then you know how confusing and overwhelming emotions can be, sometimes rapidly go from one feeling to another.