I was asked to write a response to the above question in the Thrive Global article series, "Asking for a Friend". This is a question that many people struggle with, not knowing what to do when there is evidence of a drinking or other drug use problem with the person they care about.
Deciding whether to deal with the relationship while managing individual recovery requires some sorting through. There are risks to couple recovery, but the evidence suggests that healthy relationships lead to better long-term recovery outcomes.
John is 38-years old, works in a job that he loves in high tech, has been married for 6 years to Carol, He also has an alcohol use disorder, severe. John noticed that his drinking seemed to pick up over the last two years,
John had hit bottom and decided to get that help. He began an outpatient program and got into recovery. Carol was relieved and felt that the problem was finally being addressed and that their life could maybe get back to normal.